In The Rayne
(Source: whitehairedyouth, via intherayne)
Things suck and other boring life crap.
I haven’t updated in a while. So here’s some things and stuff.
- Depression has got to me pretty badly. I was off and on medication the past half a year. Went off meds initially to try and get pregnant. It’s been 7 months now and nothing. And now I want to STOP because we are having the wedding next March and I don’t wanna be pregnant at my wedding.
- Oh yeah there’s that, the whole wedding thing. Marty and I got engaged on Christmas Eve when he surprised me. There’s a video, I’ll find it and post it later. We are getting married on Pi Day next year. So that stress load isn’t helping my mental state at all.
- Broke my ankle when I went home for Christmas (before the proposal). Was off work a couple months. Back at work now but had a minor snafu, work related injury to my lower back again. So now I’m seriously considering Bariatric surgery because I have too many injuries and potential for injuries with being at this weight and I just can’t handle it anymore. I can’t even do my job hardly sometimes. So I got the referral from my doctor which is the first step. Now I have to take an orientation class, followed by a 12 week class that goes over the before and after stuff related to the surgery. Then maybe at the earliest I can have the surgery done in August which would give me a good 6 months before the wedding. If all goes well. Downside is I gotta wait 2 years after the surgery to try and get pregnant. But right now my health is more important so I gotta do what I gotta do and tell my biological clock that’s been ticking out of control to go SUCK IT. I don’t even know if I’m able to have kids anyway I think I may have fertility issues, I’ve thought that since I was 16. You know what they say about a woman’s intuition.
- Started a blog to start writing about my work stuff. Just trying to write about what I know. I am sick of working just to pay the bills. Why can’t I just win the damn lottery already? Jeez.
- Not much else is new. My biggest problem at the current time is trying to figure out how to deal with my future mom in law. She is posting on my wall on facebook almost daily will all this stuff about how I just need to think positive and everything will be magically better. She is one of those people that has never had depression and apparently doesn’t realize/understand/comprehend that it is an ILLNESS. No matter what I do I simply can’t get that through her head. So I am just ignoring the posts now but UGH I just want her to stop PLEASE I really don’t want this to be an issue and I don’t want to hold this resentment I have enough stress already god fucking dammit I like my inlaws why are you suddenly changing now that we are engaged WTFWTFWTF.
(Source: crimesagainsthughsmanatees, via beardycoxmilkshakeman)
Perfect hill for a slide.
I was working in Watts a few months back. For those who aren’t familiar with the area, read more here. It’s not exactly the “nicest” area to be working in, but I didn’t realize they actually had some pretty cool things, like the Watts Towers. I could see the top of the towers from a few blocks away and had to check them out. All built by just one guy, and made and decorated with objects he found around the area (bed frames, seashells, bottles, scrap metal, etc). It’s now a nationally recognized historic landmark.
"The Watts Towers or Towers of Simon Rodia in the Watts district of Los Angeles, California, is a collection of 17 interconnected structures, two of which reach heights of over 99 feet (30 m). The Towers were built by Italian immigrant construction worker Sabato (“Sam” or “Simon”) Rodia in his spare time over a period of 33 years, from 1921 to 1954.” More details here.
It’s to make all the stupid people tolerable.
Well then, I must be a fuckin’ genius. ;)
SHOUTOUT TO CATS FOR GETTING THEIR CLAWS STUCK IN THINGS AND THEN WHEN YOU HELP THEY GET OFFENDED THAT YOU TOUCHED THEIR PAW
fun fact: you don’t cure depression by telling me i have nothing to be sad about
another fun fact: you dont cure anxiety by just getting up and doing whatever it is that makes you anxious
(Source: merankoria, via morganoperandi)